someone tell me how to make friends
i don't know how cuz i hang out with a baby all day
& come on to my puppy
& my boyfriend lives half way across the country

i want to go out
i want to have fun
i want to live life!

  • Current Mood
    lonely lonely

times a changing

so right now i live alone
allison had to move to her moms
so i'm in my lil apartment all alone!
it's not so bad
this girl is coming over tomorrow
to see if she wants to be my roommate
if she doesn't work out
i'm also moving in with my parents

if i move in with my parents its gonna be crazy
i have lived on my own for almost 5 yrs
& my house is like a 4 bedroom house
with like 7 people & 3 dogs!
7 people because my brother has two friends
who basically live there & are always on the couch
that should be interesting
i dunno what is happening yet

in other news i have a super sweet boyfriend!
he sent me a phone so we can talk & text whenever
& it not effect his minutes or anything
he also sent me a surprise "i miss you" card
i was so suprised & think it's so sweet!
he's the best
i think it's going to work out
i wish i can see him sooner
but i think we are planning on 2nd week of may
so far!!!!

anyways that's it
i want a haircut
my puppy needs a haircut
  • Current Mood
    hopeful hopeful


i've been sick for almost a week
it really sucks
i started my job as a nanny
loveit, will love it more when im not sick!

allison is moving out
trying to find a new roomate ASAP
a nice, cute, gay guy came over today
i hope he wants to live here
he seems like a lot of fun!

i have a boyfriend
he lives 1200 miles away now
but i don't care
i still think he's the greatest
i have high hopes for this one

last weekend we went on a family trip
the WHOLE family & only the family
it was fun to hang out with my brother
since well i never do
the whole family got along well
& it was a lot of fun

pictures of my current life below
i'm doing this new thing steve taught me
only worry about yourself & do what makes you happy
i like it a lot

  • Current Mood
    sick sick


the ability to be crushed by love
shows that you have the ability to love

i'm learning how to love again
yes, things are messy sometimes
but the fact that when we are together
its so effortless, makes me very hopeful

it's not going to be easy
but what ever is?

i completely adore how it isnt young lust
i feel like it's so real
blah blah blah
it's genuine
we are who we are
& somehow that just fits

fingers crossed
  • Current Mood
    hopeful hopeful

(no subject)

today was a good day
i didn't sleep much
but i did eat pita pit
walk in the park
paint pottery
& eat coldstone
all in good company!

i wanted to go out tonight
but somehow eating strawberries
& watch movies has made up for it

tomorrow i hope to see my sister
& maybe go shopping
i hope i can start being in a better mood all the time

he makes me happy
it's bad
  • Current Mood
    happy happy


so today i went to UCF and talked to someone about being a teacher
i am really confused on what i should do
in order to teach elementary education i think i have to get my masters
i am willing to do that but i don't think right now
a master's is going to take 2.5 to 3 yrs...
which means i would probably have to work in marketing
or some sort of business field
& by 3 yrs i should be getting somewhere
& i feel like i won't leave a business job to be a teacher.

i can however teach a subject for 6th to 12th graders
if i do that i think i will teach history for like 10th grade
i just need to figure out if i really want to be a teacher to be a teacher
or if i would like to be a teacher cuz i want to teach little kids
either way i have a lot of research to do

i talked to my old boss from Disney & i may be her nanny soon
i'm meeting with her on monday to meet the baby & see how things go
i hope it goes well cuz i need money ASAP
& that would be a really fun jon and i could make some decent money

as far as the rest of my life
i get cranky about everyday cuz im stuck at home
but i like hanging out with this one guy
that i shouldnt hang out with a lot
we hang out a lot cuz he leaves at the end of the month
i am happy about it but then i get sad cuz its such a mess
i freak out every other day
poor guy
he puts up with it though

i need to watch reality tv now
figure out my future!
  • Current Mood
    hopeful hopeful


I'm really a bad person
I do things I said I'd never do
& at the time, I don't feel bad
but then afterwards I just want to cry

god damnit!
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed


I feel like i've been happy for so long
i forgot how it feels to be sad or depressed or disappointed
this weekend has been really shitty
& i'm starting to get depressed about not having a job
& having to stay home all the time cuz i don't have any money
i also have a lot of new additional stress :(
right now i am very not please that it is 10:08 on a saturday night
& i am at home with it seems like everyone ignoring my text messages
honestly, i feel so alone & i want to cry
i'm stuck in this really bad love triangle
& i feel like i'm losing my best friend
even though we cried & hugged eachother
& said how much we love one another
i'm somehow still here alone, blown off on a saturday night
the only person who has time for me is married
literally he's married
how is everything so fucked up now
i don't like being not happy
i just want things to be different
i want this to be a good year
why isn't it working out
i'm crying now. cool.
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed

(no subject)

how to be unemployed:
*sleep until 12pm
*clean the house
*do laundry
*watch reality tv
*go to your parents house
*lurk on the internet


Seriously, that is all i do. I wish i had money or friends so i could have something else to do. I just constantly call my mom and ask her what she's doing!

This is basically like being a housewife I guess, except i only take care of my puppy instead of babies.

P.S. This is my new cute nose piercing that my parents didn't notice?

  • Current Mood