January 24th, 2009

:(

I feel like i've been happy for so long
i forgot how it feels to be sad or depressed or disappointed
this weekend has been really shitty
& i'm starting to get depressed about not having a job
& having to stay home all the time cuz i don't have any money
i also have a lot of new additional stress :(
right now i am very not please that it is 10:08 on a saturday night
& i am at home with it seems like everyone ignoring my text messages
honestly, i feel so alone & i want to cry
i'm stuck in this really bad love triangle
& i feel like i'm losing my best friend
even though we cried & hugged eachother
& said how much we love one another
i'm somehow still here alone, blown off on a saturday night
the only person who has time for me is married
literally he's married
how is everything so fucked up now
i don't like being not happy
i just want things to be different
i want this to be a good year
why isn't it working out
i'm crying now. cool.
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    depressed depressed